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Jokes in English for Whatsapp

Kanjoos baap ke bete ne kaha:

Papa meri GF pregnant ho gayi hai. 50,000 mang rhi hai, Chup rehne ke.

Kanjoos ne khamoshi se paise de diye.

2 mahine baad dusra beta bola: Meri GF pregnant hai 75,000 mang rhi hai

Kanjoos ne khamoshi se de diye.

6 mahine baad Kanjoos ki kuwari beti boli: Daddy, I am pregnant.!

Kanjoos ne usko gale se lagaya aur beti ka maatha chum ke kaha: Shabaash beti, ab paise lene ki baari hamari..

Bacha:- Bhagwan kare teacher ki zuban cut jaye. Roz roz dant ti hai.

Next day zuban cut gayi..

Bacha :- Bhagwan kare master ka hath toot jaye. Tang karta hai… bahut marta hai.

Next day master ka hath toot jata hai…

Bacha :- Bhagwan mere BAAP ko utha le… Bahut marte hai.

Next day baap ghar aate hain,

Bacha :- Papa apko kuch nahi hua ??

Baap :- Nahi kyon?

Bacha :- Maa kahan hain…??

Baap :- Pados me Sharma uncle ki Death ho gayi hai, wahan Gayi hai..

Ek Kamina Bachha apni Toy Train se khel rha tha aur Bar-Bar bol raha tha,

Jis HARAMI ko chadna hai chad jao…

Jis KAMINE ne utarna hai utar jao…

.

Aise bolta dekh, Uske BAAP ne uski train rok ke, usko ek zor se thappad laga diya !!

.

Bachha thodi der rokar chup ho gaya aur fir shuru ho gaya,

Jis HARAMI ko chadna hai chad jao…

Jis KAMINE ne utrna hai utar jao…

Pehle hi kisi KUTTE ki wajah se Train 10 min late ho gayi hai..!!

Ek ladka ek ladki ko cafe mein akele baitha dekh kar ladki ki table par gaya aur kaha:

ladka: kya main aap ke saath baith sakta hoon?
Ladki (Chillai): nahin, main aaj raat tumhare saath nahin guzaar sakti… !

sab log dekhne lage….. ladka sharminda ho gaya..

kuch der baad ladki uske paas gayi aur maafi mangi aur kaha: Main HUMAN NATURE ke upar study kar rahi hoon aur padh rahi hoonke log sharminda ho kar kya mehsoos karte hain…
Ladka (Chillaya): What…?? 10 Hazar ek raat ke bahut zyada hain, kuch kam karo yaar…

Sab log ladki ko dekhkar hasne lage. .

Aur phir ladka aahista se bola: Ab kar Study HUMAN NATURE pe

How fast can you fill the words?

1) S _ X
2) _ _ NDOM
3) F _ _ K
4) P _ N _ S
5) PU _ S _
6) BOO _ S

Now scroll down:

.

.

.

.

.

Answers…

1. Six
2. Random
3. Fork
4. Pants
5. Pulse
6. Books

How many did u get correct?

May God forgive your evil thoughts if u had different answers!

Bacha maa se –
Mom ye pregnant kya hota hai

Mom ne gusse se dekha toh wo samja ki gusse ko pregnant kehte hai…!!

2nd day bachcha school se aate hue
ek ladki ke upar gir gaya…!!

Ladki ki maa Chilla kar boli :
Ye kya badtameezi hai???

Bacha bola:
Gira teri beti ke upar hoon Aur pregnant tu ho rahi hai..!!

Phone rings at night…

Husband: If its for me, then say I am not at home!

Wife (on phone): He is at home…

Husband (in anger): What the HELL??

Wife: SHUT UP, It was for ME!!

Ek pinjare mein kuchh Tote (parrots) ek Toti ko chhed rahe the..

Jabki doosre pinjare mein Ek tota pooja aur Dusra Tota Namaaz padh raha tha!

Malik ne socha: Kitne nek tote hain, Inke pinjare mein toti surakshit rahegi.

Usne toti ko nek toto ke pinjare mein daal diya.

To pooja karne wala tota namaaz padhne wale tote se bola…

“Utho miyaan Dua kabool ho gayi!”

A man received message from his neighbor..

Sorry sir I am using your wife.
I am using day and night,
I am using when you are not present at home,
Infact I am using more than YOU are using,
I confess this because now I feel very much guilty,
Hope You will accept my sincere apologies!!

Man went home and had a big fight with his wife.

Few minutes later he received another message…

Sorry Sir spelling mistake… it’s not wife but wifi !!

Saas – Bahu Ke Jhagde Mein suddenly…

Saas: I Have Carried Him For 9 Months.

Bahu:
Only 3.5 Kgs Na?
I Carry Him Every Night & he is 90 Kgs Now… Baat Karti Hai !!!

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Item Reviewed: Jokes in English for Whatsapp Description: Rating: 5 Reviewed By: Niharika Singh
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