Wednesday, 21 October 2015

Whatsapp masti jokes

If you are a girl named Khushi and you cry,
people won’t take it seriously… Why?

.

because that would be ‘Khushi ke aansoo’!!

I love it when my Sony smartphone hangs and gives me Problems
Because…

.

“Sony de Nakhre sohne lagde menu”

Cricket team k jab sab player out ho jate hain,
to sab machaar bhaag jate hain, batao kyun??

.

KYUKI team “AllOut” hain naa. LOL

One day Om Puri came late for the shooting
Cast and crew said…

.

Omelette aaya!! 😀

Om Puri was kidnapped by Taliban..
Govt launched a mission to save him .
Bolo uss mission kaa naam kya hoga??

.

Answer: Sev Puri!

If Sridevi is running a shop,
I wonder whether she would say
“Abhi Boney ka time hai…”

Saanp Ne Piya Bakri Ka Khoon…

Waah! Waah!

Saanp Ne Piya Bakri Ka Khoon …

Good Afternoon!
Good Afternoon!
Good Afternoon!

Na train mein, na phoolo mein
na rasoi mein na rain mein
dard milta hai to
tere diye hue pain mein…!

Ladki: Yeh kya kar rahe ho?

Ladka: Dahi Jama raha hoon…

Ladki: Kab tak jamaoge?

Ladka:
Agar tum mil jaao..
Jamana chhod denge hum!! 😀

Aapko pataa hai ki Popcorn ko garm tave par rakhne par wo uchhalte kyun hai?

.

.

.

Nahi pata ..?

.

.

.

Kabhi khud baith kar dekhna ..

Pata chal jayega!!

Teacher Santa se: Explain ‘Dahi’ in English

Santa:

Milk sleeping in the night,
and savere savere tight!!

Q: What do you call your sister who has every information about almost everything?

Think…

Ans: Infosys..!

Height of prank call?

Hello pooja hai…?

Nahi…

To karwa lo… Jai Mata Di !!!!

How do you say “she is calling a cab” in one word?

Guess…

Think… Its easy

don’t know… ?

Answer is…

Vocabulary (Wo Cab Bula ri)

Ant: What do you call a 100 year old ant ?

Elephant: An ANTique !

Santa: Do You Know English?

Banta: Yes

Santa: Ok! Then Tell What Is The Opposite Of Naag Panchami?

Banta:
So Simple Yaar..
“Naag Do Not Punch Me”

Read more:

Jokes in English for Whatsapp

Kanjoos baap ke bete ne kaha:

Papa meri GF pregnant ho gayi hai. 50,000 mang rhi hai, Chup rehne ke.

Kanjoos ne khamoshi se paise de diye.

2 mahine baad dusra beta bola: Meri GF pregnant hai 75,000 mang rhi hai

Kanjoos ne khamoshi se de diye.

6 mahine baad Kanjoos ki kuwari beti boli: Daddy, I am pregnant.!

Kanjoos ne usko gale se lagaya aur beti ka maatha chum ke kaha: Shabaash beti, ab paise lene ki baari hamari..

Bacha:- Bhagwan kare teacher ki zuban cut jaye. Roz roz dant ti hai.

Next day zuban cut gayi..

Bacha :- Bhagwan kare master ka hath toot jaye. Tang karta hai… bahut marta hai.

Next day master ka hath toot jata hai…

Bacha :- Bhagwan mere BAAP ko utha le… Bahut marte hai.

Next day baap ghar aate hain,

Bacha :- Papa apko kuch nahi hua ??

Baap :- Nahi kyon?

Bacha :- Maa kahan hain…??

Baap :- Pados me Sharma uncle ki Death ho gayi hai, wahan Gayi hai..

Ek Kamina Bachha apni Toy Train se khel rha tha aur Bar-Bar bol raha tha,

Jis HARAMI ko chadna hai chad jao…

Jis KAMINE ne utarna hai utar jao…

.

Aise bolta dekh, Uske BAAP ne uski train rok ke, usko ek zor se thappad laga diya !!

.

Bachha thodi der rokar chup ho gaya aur fir shuru ho gaya,

Jis HARAMI ko chadna hai chad jao…

Jis KAMINE ne utrna hai utar jao…

Pehle hi kisi KUTTE ki wajah se Train 10 min late ho gayi hai..!!

Ek ladka ek ladki ko cafe mein akele baitha dekh kar ladki ki table par gaya aur kaha:

ladka: kya main aap ke saath baith sakta hoon?
Ladki (Chillai): nahin, main aaj raat tumhare saath nahin guzaar sakti… !

sab log dekhne lage….. ladka sharminda ho gaya..

kuch der baad ladki uske paas gayi aur maafi mangi aur kaha: Main HUMAN NATURE ke upar study kar rahi hoon aur padh rahi hoonke log sharminda ho kar kya mehsoos karte hain…
Ladka (Chillaya): What…?? 10 Hazar ek raat ke bahut zyada hain, kuch kam karo yaar…

Sab log ladki ko dekhkar hasne lage. .

Aur phir ladka aahista se bola: Ab kar Study HUMAN NATURE pe

How fast can you fill the words?

1) S _ X
2) _ _ NDOM
3) F _ _ K
4) P _ N _ S
5) PU _ S _
6) BOO _ S

Now scroll down:

.

.

.

.

.

Answers…

1. Six
2. Random
3. Fork
4. Pants
5. Pulse
6. Books

How many did u get correct?

May God forgive your evil thoughts if u had different answers!

Bacha maa se –
Mom ye pregnant kya hota hai

Mom ne gusse se dekha toh wo samja ki gusse ko pregnant kehte hai…!!

2nd day bachcha school se aate hue
ek ladki ke upar gir gaya…!!

Ladki ki maa Chilla kar boli :
Ye kya badtameezi hai???

Bacha bola:
Gira teri beti ke upar hoon Aur pregnant tu ho rahi hai..!!

Phone rings at night…

Husband: If its for me, then say I am not at home!

Wife (on phone): He is at home…

Husband (in anger): What the HELL??

Wife: SHUT UP, It was for ME!!

Ek pinjare mein kuchh Tote (parrots) ek Toti ko chhed rahe the..

Jabki doosre pinjare mein Ek tota pooja aur Dusra Tota Namaaz padh raha tha!

Malik ne socha: Kitne nek tote hain, Inke pinjare mein toti surakshit rahegi.

Usne toti ko nek toto ke pinjare mein daal diya.

To pooja karne wala tota namaaz padhne wale tote se bola…

“Utho miyaan Dua kabool ho gayi!”

A man received message from his neighbor..

Sorry sir I am using your wife.
I am using day and night,
I am using when you are not present at home,
Infact I am using more than YOU are using,
I confess this because now I feel very much guilty,
Hope You will accept my sincere apologies!!

Man went home and had a big fight with his wife.

Few minutes later he received another message…

Sorry Sir spelling mistake… it’s not wife but wifi !!

Saas – Bahu Ke Jhagde Mein suddenly…

Saas: I Have Carried Him For 9 Months.

Bahu:
Only 3.5 Kgs Na?
I Carry Him Every Night & he is 90 Kgs Now… Baat Karti Hai !!!

Thursday, 15 October 2015

Sunny Leone jokes

Great & Touching Lines By Sunny Leone:

Kiss Kiss Ka Khada Hai..?
..
..
..
..
.. ..
..
..
Ghar Ke Bahar Vehicle.
Jaldi Se Andar Rakh Lo,
Raat Honey Wali Hai....
Sunny Leone

#########################################################

Kya Aapne Kabhi Muh Me Liya H??
.
Wo Mota Sa
,
.
Aas-Paas Baal
,
.
Naram-Naram
.
Uper Se Cover
.
.
.
Nevr??
.
Jhoot Bolte Ho?
.
Kabhi Bhutta Nhi Khaya.

#########################################################

Sunny Leone Coming In Kbc 5.
Amithab Asks Her,
"Which One Is Ur Favourite Round?"
She Said-
"Fastest Finger First"....

#########################################################

Santa Biwi Ke Office Gaya
Biwi Boss Ki Goad Me Bethi Thi
Santar: Chal Roopa,
Aisi Jagah Kaam Nahi Karna,
Jaha Staff K Liye Kursi Bhi Na Ho..

#########################################################

My Sympathies With Randeep Hooda &
Arunoday Sing Aftr Wtching "Jism 2" Promo!!
.
.
.
.
.
Poor Guys Kissed Those Lips Which
Suckd So Many Dicks :D

#########################################################

This One's A Classic!!!!!!
Preeto Ko Uska Bachaa Bahut Pareshan Kar Raha Tha.....
Ek Thandi Saans Le Kar Woh Boli:
.
.
.
"Kash Us Din Muh Main Le Leti."

#########################################################

Chicken Aise Pakao Ki Kachcha Na Ho,
Aur Mohabbat Aise Nibhao Ki Baccha Na Ho.
Janhit Me Jaari....

#########################################################

Grls Dnt Read Dis Adult Joke==>>

Aaj-Kal Ke Bacche Aur Unke Doubts :D Girl - Teacher.!
Bus
Male Hai Ya Female......... .??
(Teacher Thinks Such A Cute Question)
Suddenly Another Boy Replied- Teacher, Its Female. Girl-
Why.....?? Boy- Kyoki Sab Log Uspe Chadte Hain, Idiot.
Teacher Got Tense With Answer
Whereas Girl In Doubt Again-
Agar Bus Female Hai Aur Sabuspechadte Hain To
Uske Bacche Kyo Nahi Hote.....??
Teacher More Tense.. .
Boy Again With
Answer- Kyoki
Sab Us Par Peeche Se Chadte Hai Duffer.
Teacher Sharm Se Pani Pani..
. But Girl Still In Doubt- Maana
Sabhi Peeche Se Chadte Hain,
Par Driver Aur Conductor To
Aage Se Chadte Hain. Phir Bachchekyon Nahin
Hote......??
Teacher Ki Saanse Band. .
.
.
.
Boy. Final Reply-Kyon Ki Wohdono Topi Pehanke
Chadte Hain. Teacher Behosh..!!

Tuesday, 6 October 2015

Whatsapp dp images

Funny jokes for whatsapp

Population Comparison:
INDIAN: I have 4 sis & 3 bro. What abut U?
AMERICAN: I have no sis or bro.
But I have 4 Moms from 1st dad, 3 dads from 1st mom.

.......................

Boy: Tumhai main zyada pasand hu ya toilet?
Girl: Kya stupid question hai ye?
Boy: Nahi janu batao na?
Girl: Ofcourse tum hi ab batao kyu pucha?
Boy: Toilet k liye to tum foran chaddi utar deti ho,
magar mujhe bahut minnate karni parti hai kyu?
Wah ustad wah, kya kutta dimagh paya hai..
......................... 

1.   Woh Mangti Thi Mein Deta Na Tha,
Jawaab Uske Kisi Bhi Sawaal Ka.
Ek Din Uss Ne Manga To Khara Ho Gya,
Rongata Rongata Meray Jazbat Ka
Ek Din Wo Boli Peeche Se Nahi Age Se Karo,
Tum Deedar Mere Husn-E-Shabaab Ka
Bada Dard Hota Hai Jab Ander Jaata Hai,
Kaano Mein Ik Ik Lafz Mere Yaar Ka.
Fir Mene Pyar Se Diya To Choot Gaya
Haath Se Mere Laal Phool Gulaab Ka
Uss Ne Kaha Ke Kar Lo Mager Kisi Ko Na Batana
Bus Chupa Rahe Yeh Afsaana Hamare Pyar Ka

2.  
Mujrim Ne Apne Pathan Vakeel Ko Kaha: “Koshish Karna Umar Qaid Ho Phansi Na Ho
Vakeel: “Tum Chinta Mat Karo
Court Ke Baad
Mujrim: “Kya Hua?
Pathan: “Bahut Mushkil Se Umar Qaid Karwai, Adalat To Riha Kar Rahi Thi

3.
Santa Kisi Kaam Se Apni Biwi Ke Office Jata Hai.
Bina Kisi Se Pemission Liye Wo Sidha Uske Cabin Mein Chala Jata Hai
Waha Dekhta Hai Ki Uski Patni Apne Boss Ki Godh Mein Bethi Hai.
Aisa Dekhte Hi Santa Gusse Se Apni Patni Preeto Se Bola.
Santa: “Chal Ghar Chal Preeto, Aisi Jagah Kaam Nahi Karna Chahiye Jahaan Staff Ke Baithne Ke Liye Ek Chair Bhi Na Ho

4.
Do Ladkiyaan Train Mein Safar Kar Rahi Thi,
Ek Ladki Ne Time Pass Ke Liye Dusri Se Puchha
Ladki: “Tujhe Kaisa Pati Chahiye?
Dusri: “Mujhe Crorepati Chahiye
Pahli: “Crorepati Na Mile To?
Dusri: “50 Lakh Ke 2 Pati Chalenge
Pahli: “50 Lakh Ke Na Mile To?
Dusri: “25 Lakh Ke 4 Pati Bhi Chalenge
Uppar Birth Pe Lete Hue Santa Ne Ye Suna Aur Bola.
Santa: “Jab Ye 1000 Rupaye Pe Aaye To Mujhe Bata Dena

5.
Ek Ladies Se Bhari Bus Ka Bada Boori Tarah Se Accident Ho Gaya,
Saari Ladies Mar Gayi,
Sabke Pati Ek-Ek Ghanta Roye,
Santa Do Ghante Roya,
Kyun?
Kyunki Uski Wife Se Bus Miss Ho Gayi Thi.

6.
Santa Ne Ek Din Badi Udasi Se Apne Dost Banta Ko Bola.
Santa: “Yaar Meri Biwi Gussa Bahut Karti Hai
Banta: “Meri Bhi Pahle Karti Thi Ab Nahi Karti
Santa: “Achha, Aisa Tum Ne Kya Elaaj Kiya?
Banta Muskurate Hue: “Kuch Khas Nahi, Wo Ek Din Gusse Mein Thi, Maine Kah Diya Ke Budhape Mein Gussa Aa Hi Jata Hai, Us Din Se Wo Gussa Nahi Karti

7.
Boy-Friend Ne Girl-Friend Ko Call Kari To Usne Kaafi Der Baad Phone Uthaya
Boy-Friend Ne Hairan Hote Hue Puchha: “Arrey Itni Der Se Call Recieve Kyu Nahi Ki?
Girl-Friend Ne Sharmate Hue Jawab Diya: “Wo Main….. Wo Main, Ringtone Par Naach Rahi Thi

8.
Baba Saxidas Ke Ek Bhakt Ne Unse Puchha
Bhakt: “Baba Ji, Ye Love Marrigae Ka Kya Fayda Hai?
Baba Ji Muskuraye Aur Bhakt Ko Ankh Marte Hue Bole
Baba Ji: “Bacha Simple, Suhag Raat Wale Din Sharmane Mein Time Waste Nahi Hota

Hindi jokes sms

ek pagal roz kehta- gulel banaunga panchhi ko maruga
5 mahine pagal khane me ilaaz k bad,
Dr. ne pucha- ab kya karoge?
Shadi
phir?
Suhagrat
phir?
Uski sari utaruga
phir?
Blouse
Oho! phir?
Bra utaruga
My god, phir?
Phir kya! Bra k elastic se gulel banaunga aur panchhi ko marunga.

............................................................................................................................
admi Dr. se: Dr. saab mai apni Biwi ko c#odta hu to andar jake lu#d teda ho jata hai,
Dr. ko yakin nahi aata, to admi apni Biwi ko clinic me lakar Dr. k samne c#odta h phir bhi Dr. ko yakin nahi aata,
Kuch din baad kisi shadi me Dr apne dosto k sath khada us admi ka mazak uda raha hota hai. "ki is bewakuf ne apni Biwi ko mere samne c#oda"
Dusri taraf wo admi apne dosto k sath khada Dr ko dekh k hansta hai aur kehta hai "yaar ra#di lekar aaya tha jagah nahi mili to iske clinic me c#od diya."
............................................................................................................................
Teacher-"wats ur name"
Santa-"HOLA"
Teacher-"ye kya naam hua"
Santa-"mai HOLI k din paida hua tha"
Teacher-"thank god tum LOHDI k din paida nhi hue"
............................................................................................................................
Sx kar lene k baad boy "janeman ab tumhe wo hoga jise dunia bachcha kahti hai,
girl: meri ch~t k ashiq ma#a#rch#d ab tumhe wo hoga jise dunia aids kahti hai. 
............................................................................................................................

SuperSex
Teacher: Girl se Condom ka full form batao?

Girl :
C : Control
O : On
N : Natural
D : Drops
O : Of
M : Man
DO BOOND ZINDAGI KI

SuperSex
Teacher: Girl se Condom ka full form batao?

Girl :
C : Control
O : On
N : Natural
D : Drops
O : Of
M : Man
DO BOOND ZINDAGI KI

............................................................................................................................
Biwi KO Thpad marne Ke Bad pati Bola_
Admi use hi marta h. jise wo pyr krta h
Biwi NE B 2 Khich K mareOR Dhire
seBoli-ap kya samjte ho mai apse pyar nhi krti.
............................................................................................................................
1Ladki roz gali se guzra karti thi...
apne chehre ko naqab se dhak kar rakhti thi
1ladka uspe marta tha...
shayad wo use dil se pyar karta tha
1din ladki ne us ladke k padosi se pucha.
kaha gya wo aashiq ?
to usne bataya aapko aane me der ho gai
us diwane ki kal rat maut ho gayi
Padosi ne apna farz nibhaya
ladki ko qabr tak le aya
Ladki qabr par rone lagi
apne ansu se qabr ko dhone lagi
Qabr se aawaz aayi
"A KHUDA YE KESA INQALAB AYA Hai
AAJ ME PARDE ME HU OR MERA MEHBOOB BENAQAB AYA Hai...
............................................................................................................................
ek ladke ne mujhe hath laga kar kaha tumhari tangon ke beech me ye kya hai.
mein ne kaha ye lakir.
mein ne uski tangon ke beech mein hath laga kar kaha ye kya hai.
us ne kaha ye usi lakir ka faqeer hai. 
............................................................................................................................
What is tension:
Ladki ne apse lift mangi, Raste me uski tabiat kharab hogai, aap hospital le gye. Dr. Bola aap baap banne wale ho, apko tension!
aap bole mai iska baap nahi! Phir ladki se pucha
Ladki boli yahi baap hai apko aur tension
Phir Police i, apka medical chekup hua
Report i ki aap to kabhi bap hi nhi ban sakte aap ne Khuda ka shukr ada kia, aur aap khushi khushi bahar aa gaye! 
aur phir socha ki ghar pe jo 2 bachche hai
wo kis ka hai. apko phir tenson.
............................................................................................................................
Sardar ga#d silwane mochi ke pass gaya,
mochi ne use 25,000 ka bill diya. 
Sardar ne use 50,000 diye, muchi ne kaha "maine to pachchis mange the aap mujhe pachas kyu de rahe ho?"
sardar bahan ke lau%e tera bill dekh ker meri 
dubara fat gai.
............................................................................................................................

Ek Tapori ICICI Bank me gaya:

Bhenchod, mere ko A/C. kholna hai.

LadyOfficer:  Hello Mister Tamiz se baat kijiye.

Man:  Tamiz ki Maa ki Chut, Account kaun kholega vo bata.?

Lady ne Manager ko Complaint kiya.

Manager:  kya Battamizi kar rahe ho?

Man:  Battamizi ki Maa ka Bhosda Bhadve, Meri 100Crores ki Lottery lagi hai Batao, Account kaun kholega.?

Manager:  Arre Sir, Aap bhi kaha is Randi se baat kar rahe ho, Main yaha kya Maa Chudvane baitha hu…?? 
Plz come Sir..
Moral: Targets are Targets.. 
Tamiz ki ma ka Bhosda.. 

............................................................................................................................

Zindagi Mein Do Cheeze Samaj Nahi Aayi Aaj Tak:

- Pehli: “Ladkiyon Ki Jeans Mein Zip Ka Kya Kaam Hai?”

- Doosri: “Jab Unke Paas Kuch Pakadne Ke Liye Hai Hi Nahi To Wo Bathroom Jane Ke Baad Hath Kyo Dhoti Hai..... ��❓❓❓❓❓

Todays spcl----Dr. Giving Lecture.....!    Sex ke Time Condom use karne se Enjoyment me koi fark nahi padta..!!  
Ek Girl: Polythene me Rasgulla daal ke Choos kar dekh, tab pata chalega, chutiya kahi ka!:

............................................................................................................................
1 aurat 2nd aurat se- kya tum sex karte waqt apne pati se baat karti ho?
She replied- agar unka phone aata hai to kar leti hun..
"aakhir pati hai wo mere..��      
............................................................................................................................
Lady Tcher - Bachho, batao Samosa aur kachori, me kya fark hai ?
Ek Saitan Baccha bola - Madam, Bra pehenogi to Samosa dikhega,
Nahi pehenogi to kachori....!!
new stock
U will love it
............................................................................................................................
Sardar ne railway reservation form me Ling ke samne likha - 8 inch.
Lady clerk - ye kya hae? kato ise
Sardar: kitna?
Lady: pura
Sardar - Maa chudao, Bus se chala jaunga
............................................................................................................................

Husband apne sasural me biwi se: aaj sex ho jaye..

Biwi: Nahi hum papa ke ghar hai..

Hus:To kya mere BAAP ka ghar Randikhana hai jo roz taiyar ho jati hai...!

............................................................................................................................
Marwadi ki wife sex karte hue: Sunoji, Is condom se muze 15vi bar kar rahe  bas bhi karo..
Marwadi: Bawri ho gai hai ke?
Iski expiry date march  2014 hai 
............................................................................................................................

Girl - Aaj Aisa "SEX" Karo Ki Meri Chillane Ki Aawaj Dur Dur Tak Sunai De

Santa Ne CONDOM Par LAL MIRCH Lagai.
Bas Fir kya ....
M.D.H Ka Tadka
Ang Ang Fadka !!

............................................................................................................................

Rah chalti ladki ko dekh kar ladka shayari ke andaz mein bola
Ladka: Kash main tumhare hasen honton ki lip-stick hota
Ladki Ne huste hue jawab diye
Ladki: Shukar karo nahi ho warna roz kisi ke lu*d pe lage hotey.
...................

Marij: Dr.sahib mera khada nahi hota.
Dr.: Ru married? NO
Dr.: Do u have girlfriend? NO
Dr.: Muth marte ho? NO
To BC khada karke dolu taangega kya!

.............................

Shadi ki pehli raat shohar apni biwi se:
Begam Ejazat hai?
Biwi: Ji Ejazat hai.
Shohar ne subah tak kar kar bura haal kar diya.
Biwi bimar ho gayi
Shohar usko sasural chodhne gaya,
Wapis aane laga toh apne saas & sasur se bola:
Achha Ji, Ejazat hai?
Bv chillaai: Papa Ejazat mat dena
MAA CH*D dega !

............................

Sunny leone in Master Chef:
Aaj main Aapko: Kele ka Kofta banana sikhati hoon.
Sabse pehle 1 saaf mota Kela lein.
Agar lene mein maza aa raha hai to lete rahein..
Kofte ki Maa ka Bhos*a.. fir kabhi ban jayega!

.............................
A bull was servicing the cows..
Lady asks to manager: How many times can this bull have sex?
Manager replies: 5 to 6 times in a day.
Lady looks at husband: You see?
Husband asks to manager: Is it the same cow every time?
No sir it’s a different cow every time.
Man looks back to wife: you see!

......................................

Ek kutti ki 5 kutte mil kar le rahe the..
Ek aurat apni beti ke sath baith kar unhe dekh rahi thi n achanak si aurat hass padhi.
Beti: kya hua mom….???
Mom: kuch nahi beti bas yu hi jawani ke din yaad aa gaye.

.............................

Use barish achhi lagti thi,
aur mujhe barish me wo…
Use bheegna achcha lagta tha, mujhe bheegti hui wo…
Mujhe wo achhi lgti thi.. Par use koi aur…
Isliye maa c* barish, Aur maa c* woh!!!
Aaj main Aapko ‘Kele ka Kofta’ bnana sikhata hun.
Sabse phle 1 saaf mota Kela lein.
.
.
.
Agar lene me maza aa raha hai to lete rahe.
Kofte ki Maa ka Bh***da .. fir kabhi ban jayega! 
..........................

ELECTRICITY SCENARIO
A couple were having sex.. Suddenly, the ceiling fan starts rotating.
Husband: BC Light aa gayi, Pehle Main Apna Phone Charge Kar Leta Hun!!
Wife: Haan… Main Bhi pehle Motor Chala Ke Paani Bhar Leti Hun!
Yeh kaam toh baad mein bhi ho jayega.

...........................

Sham diyo se sjaye baithe hai,
khushbu saso me basaye baithe hai,
unki diwangi to dekho,
girl friend raat ko ane wali hai,
aur wo dopahar se hi condom lagaye baithe hai.

.......................
Ek Admi gusse me Biwi se bola-
Dil karta hai ki aaj tere tukde tukde kar k idhar udhar fek Du.
Achanak pados me se awaaz aayi..
Bhai ‘ch*t’ idhar fekna.

........................

Lady: Ek shampoo please.
Shopkeeper: Kya dhona hai?
Lady: Kya matlab kya dhona hai, baal dhone hai aur kya?
Shopkeeper: Head ke baal dhone hai toh HEAD & SHOULDERS aur panty ke baal dhone hai toh PANTENE lelo.
Lady: GARNIER de MC. Ga*d ke baal dhone hai.

.....................
Girl: kya tum mujhe apni family se zyada chahte ho..?
Boy: No.
Girl: Kyo?
Boy: Jab main paida huwa to meri Maa ne musibat jheli.
Jab bada hone laga to Baap ne ungli pakad kar chalna sikhaya.
Jab taklif hui to Behan royi,
Jab zarurat padi to Bhai ne saath diya.
Girl: achha Gan*u.. Jab lu*d khada hua to kon kaam ayaa..!
Boy: Mera Dost, Jo ye msg padh raha hai… Jisne muze hilaana sikhaya! 

....................
Golu: Tera baap doctor hai,
fir bhi tu beemar ho gaya..
Kitne sharam ki baat hai..
Molu: BC tera baap Condom bechta hai,
fir bhi tu paida hua na chutiye.

........................
Sex kar lene ke baad
BOY: Jaaneman ab tumhe woh hoga jise duniya BACCHA kehti hai..
GIRL: Ab tumhe wo hoga Jise duniya AIDS kehti hai. 

 ............................. 
Baap bathroom me fisal kar dhadaam se gira.
Haddi toot gayi.
Bete ne poochha: Kya hua Papa?
Baap: Salle MC, Mutth maar ke paani to daal diya kar. 

....................

Wife computer par kaam karte hue apne pati se boli:
Koi achha password batana….?
Husband: Lu*d.
Wife: Has-Has ke chair parse gir padi
kyuki..
Computer says: Aapka pasword Chhota hai…
.........................

Girl goes on a date.
Worried Mother gives her Condom. 
Girl Laughs n Hugs Mother & Says:
Yahi soch to badalni hau Maa.
Im dating with Julie, So give me Mulie! 

............................

Callgirl marwadi ke ghar se rote hue nikli,
kisi ne pucha kya hua, Paise nahi diye kya kanjuso ne?
Callgirl: Paise?
Zaalimo ne chai tak mere dudh se Banayi..

Whatsapp jokes with smiles

*
Boy :- I got a new job 😀

Girl :- ✋🐀🐀🐀

Boy :- yeh kya 😳

Girl:- CongRats 😜
****
_____________________________

Girl-what is ur education ?

Boy- 🚂👂💍

Girl-ab ye kya ?

Boy - Engineering

😂
_______________________________

Girl : what is your name ?

Boy : 🍞☕

Girl : what nonsense. ....your name is breadcoffee ?

Boy : nahi re pagli....bunty 😝

________________________________

girl : what are u doing ??
.
.
boy : 😗😕😗😕😗😕
.
.
girl : what is this ????
.
.

.
boy :  gutka khara hoon rey
😂😂😂😂😂😂
_______________________________

Girl-: whats your father name?

Boy-:🐼🎨

Girl:what is this?

Boy-:panduranga

_______________________________

Girl ...kya tum whiskey pite ho

Boy....🌹

Girl....ab ye kya

Boy....रोज
😂😂😂😂😂😂

_______________________________
Boy: Tum Bhaaji ke saath kya khana pasand karogi:
Girl: 👣
Boy: Ab ye kya?
Girl: Paav

Height of smiley

Boy :- kya kal rat tum party me thi ?
Girl :- 🐘
Boy :- yeh kya !!!

Girl:- ha thi .
________________________________

Girl: Arre apnay dost ko jail say kaisay nikalay??

Boy: 🐂 pe

Girl: Kya?

Boy: bail pe

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