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Hindi non veg jokes

1 sardar ka boot phat gya usne Boot mochi ko
Diya aor kha k es ko aisa siyo k Shakal nazar aaye,
Mochi ne boot mein Shisha laga dia.
1 larki sardar ki shop pe aaye to sardar ne boot us ki taango k neechay kia
aor kha k ap ne neela underwear pehna hai,
Larki heraan ho gai. Next day wo Red underwear pehn gai to sardar ne phir bta dia
3rd day wo underwear pehn kar nahi aaye, jaisay he sardar ne boot rakha to bola :
"oo tohadi pehn nu boot feir paat gya"

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'Dost' ko 'lowda' kaho ya 'lowde' ko 'Dost' kaho,
koi fark nahi padta

Qki dono hamari khusi k liye waqt par khade rahte hai!

.

.

has mat "LOWDE!"...

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Ek pathan aur ek Sardar ka interview tha..
.
PATHAN se:
Q: Taleem?
Ans:B.A
.
Q: Pakistan kb bna?
.
Ans:koshish pehle se chal rhi thi pr 1947
.
Q: Pakistan ka pm kon hy?
Ans: buht ae gae lekn ab geelani shab..
.
SARDAR ye sub sun raha tha usne teno ans yaad krlie
1- B.A,
2- 1947,
3- Geelani
.
ab SARDAR se.
.
Q: Naam?
Ans:B.A
.
Q: Kab paida hoay?
Ans: koshish buhot pehly jari thi per 1947
.
Q: Baap ka naam?
Ans: wese to kitne aaye gaye lekin ab geelani sahab hai

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Pati- jaanu chalo na aaj sx karte hain.,
Patni- nahi ji aaj mera upwas hai aaj nahi.
Pati- to mere lu#d me kya aata laga hai jo tera upwas tut jayega.

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TIGER: Mona today u dont wear PANTY Today......!
MONA: O Yes.! great sir how do u know that??
TIGER: I can see dandruff on ur shoes.!

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Sardar ga#d silwane mochi ke pass gaya,
mochi ne use 25,000 ka bill diya.
Sardar ne use 50,000 diye, muchi ne kaha "maine to pachchis mange the aap mujhe pachas kyu de rahe ho?"
sardar bahan ke lau%e tera bill dekh ker meri
dubara fat gai.

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2 rand khadi thi
1boli-lagta he grahak a raha hai,
dusri-tuje kaise pata?
pehli-mujhe lu#d ki sugandh aa rahi hai,
dusri-are pagli wo to maine dakaar mari thi.

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A GAY couple, got up in the morning,
1st- Naraj hai mujh se?
2nd- Nahi to..!!
1st- to raat ko meri taraf muh kar k kyon soya tha...??

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Suhagraat pe ladka wife ko sirf kiss karke so gaya subah maa boli : beta mandir jane se pehle naha lo.
Bahu (gusse me): maji sirf brush karwa lo baki sab saaf hai.
......................................................................................................
ek pagal roz kehta- gulel banaunga panchhi ko maruga
5 mahine pagal khane me ilaaz k bad,
Dr. ne pucha- ab kya karoge?
Shadi
phir?
Suhagrat
phir?
Uski sari utaruga
phir?
Blouse
Oho! phir?
Bra utaruga
My god, phir?
Phir kya! Bra k elastic se gulel banaunga aur panchhi ko marunga.
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What is tension:
Ladki ne apse lift mangi, Raste me uski tabiat kharab hogai, aap hospital le gye. Dr. Bola aap baap banne wale ho, apko tension!
aap bole mai iska baap nahi! Phir ladki se pucha
Ladki boli yahi baap hai apko aur tension
Phir Police i, apka medical chekup hua
Report i ki aap to kabhi bap hi nhi ban sakte aap ne Khuda ka shukr ada kia, aur aap khushi khushi bahar aa gaye!
aur phir socha ki ghar pe jo 2 bachche hai
wo kis ka hai. apko phir tenson.
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admi Dr. se: Dr. saab mai apni Biwi ko c#odta hu to andar jake lu#d teda ho jata hai,
Dr. ko yakin nahi aata, to admi apni Biwi ko clinic me lakar Dr. k samne c#odta h phir bhi Dr. ko yakin nahi aata,
Kuch din baad kisi shadi me Dr apne dosto k sath khada us admi ka mazak uda raha hota hai. "ki is bewakuf ne apni Biwi ko mere samne c#oda"
Dusri taraf wo admi apne dosto k sath khada Dr ko dekh k hansta hai aur kehta hai "yaar ra#di lekar aaya tha jagah nahi mili to iske clinic me c#od diya."
......................................................................................................
Son: papa batao aaju baju baal bich me chhed kya hua?
Papa: chup marunga
Son: main batau, aankh.
Papa : ha ha ha sahi hai.
Son : aap ch~t samajhe the kya?
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mulla ji bra lene shop par gaye
mulla ji: ek bra de do
shopkeepar: kis size ki du?
mulla ji: size to pata nahi par biwi ki purani bra me se meri do topi ban gayi hai.

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Girl:-bra dikhao. salesmen:-36 chalegi? Girl:- choti do. salesmen:-32?
Girl:-aur choti. salesmen:-28?
Girl:-thodi aur. salesmen:-20?
Girl:-nahi todi aur. salesmen:- Madam BAND-AID laga lo, Pimple hua hoga.
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Teacher-"wats ur name"
Santa-"HOLA"
Teacher-"ye kya naam hua"
Santa-"mai HOLI k din paida hua tha"
Teacher-"thank god tum LOHDI k din paida nhi hue"
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1 baar chachi aur bhateja chat aur pani puri ka bussiness shuru karte hain- chaci said- hamara bussiness chalega kaise?
bhatija said- chachi hum advertisment denge "10 Rs. MEIN CHACHI KI CHAT LO"
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ek ladke ne mujhe hath laga kar kaha tumhari tangon ke beech me ye kya hai.
mein ne kaha ye lakir.
mein ne uski tangon ke beech mein hath laga kar kaha ye kya hai.
us ne kaha ye usi lakir ka faqeer hai.
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After 30 min of Sex with wife Sardar: r u satisfied?
Wife: No.
After 60 Min
Sardar: Now?
Wife: No
Sardar: why?
Wife: 1st remove my panty
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blood test k baad nurse ne sardar ki ungli chusi, sardar ji muskuraye, nurse ne pucha kya hua?
sardar- "iske baad urin test hai"

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Sx kar lene k baad boy "janeman ab tumhe wo hoga jise dunia bachcha kahti hai,
girl: meri ch~t k ashiq ma#a#rch#d ab tumhe wo hoga jise dunia aids kahti hai.
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Santa to Dr.- "Ga#d me dard hai"
Dr.- "mai hath ghusata hu batana dard kaha hai"
Santa- "andar aur andar aur andar aur haan yahi hai"
Dr.- "Bhosdi k gale me TONSIL hai"

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Patni (ghusse se)-mai ye ghar chod ke jaa rahi hu.Pati- jana hai to jaldi ja warna ga#d mar dunga. Patni- Bas apki yehi meethi baatein jane nahi deti.

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a sardar breaks an egg to make an omellette, he notices that the egg is empty,
sardar says "be#ch#d ab murge bhi condom use karne lag gaye"

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Badi murgi: Dekh Mere ande kitne bade Hai Rs. 2.25 Me bikte Hai Tere To Sirf 2/-Me jate Hai,
Choti Murgi:Rahne Do Chawanni k Liye koun ga#d fadega..

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SuperSex
Teacher: Girl se Condom ka full form batao?

Girl :
C : Control
O : On
N : Natural
D : Drops
O : Of
M : Man
DO BOOND ZINDAGI KI

SuperSex
Teacher: Girl se Condom ka full form batao?

Girl :
C : Control
O : On
N : Natural
D : Drops
O : Of
M : Man
DO BOOND ZINDAGI KI

Kabir ka doha: Chodan chodan sab kare chod saka nhi koy,
Jab chodan ki bari aa e  land khra nhi hoy.
Gud nite

4 kutte 1 kuttiya ko Chood rehe the

AUNTY Pass se Nikli aur RO Padi Tab ek Bache ne Pucha,
KYA HUA?

Aunty:Kuch Nahi Beta COLLEGE K DIN YAAD Aa GAYE
Gud n8.

A Risky Questions:
.
Agar 1 taraf Sare khada ho,
Aur
doosri taraf,
mera khada ho,
to batao,
tum kis ki taraf jaoge?
Ab hanso mat, bolo,
Jaan Pyaari ya Gaand!

Suhagrat pe pati ne poori raat sirf boobs suck kiye
Subah ladke ki maa- beta uth ke naha dho lo
Ladki- sirf daantt brush krwa do baki sab saaf h :D

Wife Nayi Transparent BRA Lekar Pati Ke Saamne Pehenkar Khadi Ho Gayi..
Pati: Badi SEXY Lag Rahi Ho..mera  khada kar diya.
Wife: Dukandar Bhi Yahi bol ra tha

NISHANT Ka LUND FACTURE Hone Pe Hospital Laya Gaya..
.

Dr- Ye Kaise Hua?
.
NISHANT- Me Uski ma chod Dunga Jisne Diwar Pe NANGI LADKI Ki Tasvir Chipkai thi.!

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
1Bacha roz school s bhag k
gand marwata tha.Is tarah usne bahut
paise kmaye.In paiso s usne Mobail khrida.
Vidhi ka vidhan dekho.aaj vo apni hi story padh rha ha

Only 2% students  solved this in IAS exam.
5+3+2=151022
9+2+4=183652
8+6+3=482466
5+4+5=202541
then
7+2+5= _______?

Reply must & Prove You r genius....

For u I would climb, the highest mountain peak.
Swim the deepest ocean, your love is all I seek.
Id just do anything, to have u by my side.



LOVE: You should always love life,
for it is a part of you.
I'll always be there when you fall,
to catch you and say I love you!

Apne Aasuon Ko Itna Mehnga Kardo Ki
Koi Unhe Lene Ki Kosish Na Kare
Aur Apni Muskan Ko Itna Sasta Kardo Ki
Hr Koi Usko Pane Ki Chahat Kare

RaT Ki TanHai Me Agr Koi BaDaN
Ko Chu Le
HonTo Ko ChuM Le
Kano Me Aa K Kuch Kahe To
iShQ Samaj Kr RiSk MaT UtaO
ALL Out JaLao MaChar BhaGaO


Koi kehta h khushiyo s jindgi aasan ho jati h
.or gm se jindgi veeran ho jati h,pr gm to ek imtehaan hota h..
jisme apno or begano ki peh chaan  hoti h..

Patni-Sunoji, Beta Bahut Paise Udane Laga He, Jaha B Chupati Hu dhundh Leta He
Pati-Nalayak Ki Book Me Rakh De, Exam Tak Nhi Dhundh Payega..


::1 baccha Apni Maa Se Pitne Ke Bad Ghar Ke Bahar Betha Tha ::
Papa: Kya Hua ::
Baccha: Tumari Beevi Ke Sath Ab Mera Gujara Nhi Ho Sakta Mjhe Meri Beevi chahie



Biwi KO Thpad marne Ke Bad pati Bola_
Admi use hi marta h. jise wo pyr krta h
Biwi NE B 2 Khich K mareOR Dhire
seBoli-ap kya samjte ho mai apse pyar nhi krti.

Full form of
"GIRL" :
G=Galti nikalne me sabse
      aage,
I=Inocent sirf shkl se, R=Rone ki automtic machine,
L=Ldai m sbki nani,
fir b duniya inki diwani


1Ladki roz gali se guzra karti thi...
apne chehre ko naqab se dhak kar rakhti thi
1ladka uspe marta tha...
shayad wo use dil se pyar karta tha
1din ladki ne us ladke k padosi se pucha.
kaha gya wo aashiq ?
to usne bataya aapko aane me der ho gai
us diwane ki kal rat maut ho gayi
Padosi ne apna farz nibhaya
ladki ko qabr tak le aya
Ladki qabr par rone lagi
apne ansu se qabr ko dhone lagi
Qabr se aawaz aayi
"A KHUDA YE KESA INQALAB AYA Hai
AAJ ME PARDE ME HU OR MERA MEHBOOB BENAQAB AYA Hai...




Jaa rahe hum marne, aaj mann udaas hai..
Yaad nhi kiya usne jiski mujhe aas hai..
Mujhe bhool gaye wo jo sabse khaas hain..
.
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Chalo abmsg karo Kanjuson, upar likha sab Bakwaas hai.. %-) ;-)

Please comment......

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Item Reviewed: Hindi non veg jokes Description: Rating: 5 Reviewed By: Niharika Singh
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