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Latest non veg 18+ jokes 2015

Rah chalti ladki ko dekh kar ladka shayari ke andaz mein bola
Ladka: Kash main tumhare hasen honton ki lip-stick hota
Ladki Ne huste hue jawab diye
Ladki: Shukar karo nahi ho warna roz kisi ke lu*d pe lage hotey.
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Marij: Dr.sahib mera khada nahi hota.
Dr.: Ru married? NO
Dr.: Do u have girlfriend? NO
Dr.: Muth marte ho? NO
To BC khada karke dolu taangega kya!

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Shadi ki pehli raat shohar apni biwi se:
Begam Ejazat hai?
Biwi: Ji Ejazat hai.
Shohar ne subah tak kar kar bura haal kar diya.
Biwi bimar ho gayi
Shohar usko sasural chodhne gaya,
Wapis aane laga toh apne saas & sasur se bola:
Achha Ji, Ejazat hai?
Bv chillaai: Papa Ejazat mat dena
MAA CH*D dega !

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Sunny leone in Master Chef:
Aaj main Aapko: Kele ka Kofta banana sikhati hoon.
Sabse pehle 1 saaf mota Kela lein.
Agar lene mein maza aa raha hai to lete rahein..
Kofte ki Maa ka Bhos*a.. fir kabhi ban jayega!

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A bull was servicing the cows..
Lady asks to manager: How many times can this bull have sex?
Manager replies: 5 to 6 times in a day.
Lady looks at husband: You see?
Husband asks to manager: Is it the same cow every time?
No sir it’s a different cow every time.
Man looks back to wife: you see!

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Ek kutti ki 5 kutte mil kar le rahe the..
Ek aurat apni beti ke sath baith kar unhe dekh rahi thi n achanak si aurat hass padhi.
Beti: kya hua mom….???
Mom: kuch nahi beti bas yu hi jawani ke din yaad aa gaye.

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Use barish achhi lagti thi,
aur mujhe barish me wo…
Use bheegna achcha lagta tha, mujhe bheegti hui wo…
Mujhe wo achhi lgti thi.. Par use koi aur…
Isliye maa c* barish, Aur maa c* woh!!!
Aaj main Aapko ‘Kele ka Kofta’ bnana sikhata hun.
Sabse phle 1 saaf mota Kela lein.
.
.
.
Agar lene me maza aa raha hai to lete rahe.
Kofte ki Maa ka Bh***da .. fir kabhi ban jayega!
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ELECTRICITY SCENARIO
A couple were having sex.. Suddenly, the ceiling fan starts rotating.
Husband: BC Light aa gayi, Pehle Main Apna Phone Charge Kar Leta Hun!!
Wife: Haan… Main Bhi pehle Motor Chala Ke Paani Bhar Leti Hun!
Yeh kaam toh baad mein bhi ho jayega.

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Sham diyo se sjaye baithe hai,
khushbu saso me basaye baithe hai,
unki diwangi to dekho,
girl friend raat ko ane wali hai,
aur wo dopahar se hi condom lagaye baithe hai.

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Ek Admi gusse me Biwi se bola-
Dil karta hai ki aaj tere tukde tukde kar k idhar udhar fek Du.
Achanak pados me se awaaz aayi..
Bhai ‘ch*t’ idhar fekna.

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Lady: Ek shampoo please.
Shopkeeper: Kya dhona hai?
Lady: Kya matlab kya dhona hai, baal dhone hai aur kya?
Shopkeeper: Head ke baal dhone hai toh HEAD & SHOULDERS aur panty ke baal dhone hai toh PANTENE lelo.
Lady: GARNIER de MC. Ga*d ke baal dhone hai.

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Girl: kya tum mujhe apni family se zyada chahte ho..?
Boy: No.
Girl: Kyo?
Boy: Jab main paida huwa to meri Maa ne musibat jheli.
Jab bada hone laga to Baap ne ungli pakad kar chalna sikhaya.
Jab taklif hui to Behan royi,
Jab zarurat padi to Bhai ne saath diya.
Girl: achha Gan*u.. Jab lu*d khada hua to kon kaam ayaa..!
Boy: Mera Dost, Jo ye msg padh raha hai… Jisne muze hilaana sikhaya!

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Golu: Tera baap doctor hai,
fir bhi tu beemar ho gaya..
Kitne sharam ki baat hai..
Molu: BC tera baap Condom bechta hai,
fir bhi tu paida hua na chutiye.

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Sex kar lene ke baad
BOY: Jaaneman ab tumhe woh hoga jise duniya BACCHA kehti hai..
GIRL: Ab tumhe wo hoga Jise duniya AIDS kehti hai.

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Baap bathroom me fisal kar dhadaam se gira.
Haddi toot gayi.
Bete ne poochha: Kya hua Papa?
Baap: Salle MC, Mutth maar ke paani to daal diya kar.

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Wife computer par kaam karte hue apne pati se boli:
Koi achha password batana….?
Husband: Lu*d.
Wife: Has-Has ke chair parse gir padi
kyuki..
Computer says: password too short

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Item Reviewed: Latest non veg 18+ jokes 2015 Description: Rating: 5 Reviewed By: Niharika Singh
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